Wednesday, April 26, 2006


Recognition is the opium of the self-indulgent. I'm high on 379 views of my Friendster profile since 04/01/06 and 626 visitors to this blog since March 15, 2006. Vanity is definitely my favorite sin.

I have played the field for exactly a year and a half until this boy came along and deluded me into thinking that unconditional love can actually exist. It was all a delusion... figments of my hyperactive imagination. I used to run, hit the road, don't commit. Until... without realizing it, I have developed a devotion to someone who is unquestionably unworthy. How fucking longer must I live in denial? Only I can answer that, I suppose.

I didn't plan on this, on crying my eyes out and spreading anger to unknowing loved-ones. I've always known and told myself that when the situation requires, I would fade goodbye. I have done it for so long that I am disappointed and surprised at myself for everything that I have been thoughtlessly doing for the past two weeks. I am in so much anguish that I would like to beg the people who love me to shoot me on sight. I have to stop this madness somewhere.

Oh good Lord, I'm afraid I am back to being a cynic.

On other matters, I returned to the South. Living in my parents' house, living on my parents' money (mercifully without a curfew), hanging at places from high school days. Hey, I have new friends. Future boyfriends *with crossed fingers*. It IS so much better to play the field.


At 3:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You relocated? Is it a temporary thing, a getaway or are you really living down South?

At 8:11 AM, Blogger cath said...

miss you. :)
it's been quite a while.

take care aight?

At 4:43 PM, Blogger strandedsoul said...

hmm...i smell something fishy sa comment ng isang commenter lol

peace! ^_^

At 11:50 PM, Blogger strandedsoul said...



la nanaman ako phone....T_T


At 12:34 AM, Blogger Cheenee said...

hey floi. :) enjoy. :)

At 4:43 PM, Blogger said...

Anonymous, I grew up in the South. Relocated for work. And now... well back to the South for me.

cath, I miss you more. =)

ayj, you have to stop giving your cellphones to strangers. Give it to me instead. =)

cheenee, enjoy yourself dear. =)

At 8:02 AM, Blogger droz said...

379 views? haha, i dont even get half of 79.

about relocation, lumipat ka ba dati? e diba nakakasabay pa kita sa jeep last year?

At 8:06 AM, Blogger droz said...

btw: active blogger na ulit ako. pwede na uli ako ma-link. haha.


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