Until I found my life again, I drown. So save me now.

Rebound

Recognition is the opium of the self-indulgent. I'm high on 379 views of my Friendster profile since 04/01/06 and 626 visitors to this blog since March 15, 2006. Vanity is definitely my favorite sin.

I have played the field for exactly a year and a half until this boy came along and deluded me into thinking that unconditional love can actually exist. It was all a delusion... figments of my hyperactive imagination. I used to run, hit the road, don't commit. Until... without realizing it, I have developed a devotion to someone who is unquestionably unworthy. How fucking longer must I live in denial? Only I can answer that, I suppose.

I didn't plan on this, on crying my eyes out and spreading anger to unknowing loved-ones. I've always known and told myself that when the situation requires, I would fade goodbye. I have done it for so long that I am disappointed and surprised at myself for everything that I have been thoughtlessly doing for the past two weeks. I am in so much anguish that I would like to beg the people who love me to shoot me on sight. I have to stop this madness somewhere.

Oh good Lord, I'm afraid I am back to being a cynic.

On other matters, I returned to the South. Living in my parents' house, living on my parents' money (mercifully without a curfew), hanging at places from high school days. Hey, I have new friends. Future boyfriends *with crossed fingers*. It IS so much better to play the field.

posted by Ketch Pablo @ 4:19 PM