Saturday, October 07, 2006

You can leave the memories open... It's not dying anyway.

Hm. I'm turning my safety off. Ready to fall in love with you. Again. Over and over and over.

Why am I mourning for your imminent departure when you barely showed you cared when I was the one who was leaving? Perhaps because although you discreetly went out of your fucking way from time-to-time to ignore me and to convince yourself we never were, you have always been just there... an SMS, a call, an affair away for me to get an empty hug from whenever I needed one.

I didn't realize that just there is actually just here compared to there there. Amazing how I managed to give me a fucking migraine with that one sentence. But it does make sense.

It may no longer mean anything to you, and you would probably hate me for the rest of your depressed existence... But I will miss you everyday for the rest of mine. We shared seconds but those seconds were eons compared to the hours with others who tried and failed to do what you did. You reminded me how to feel and care... and be hurt.

I would thank you but you don't give a crap anyway so I'd just hope you find that one girl you would want to wake up to for the rest of your life who would feel the same for you. As for me, I wish that I'd be anywhere with anyone... making out. Just not alone.

Lucky me if it'd be with Wentworth Miller. Current coital fantasy. I'd break out of any prison with him. Haha.


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