Until I found my life again, I drown. So save me now.

So this is LIFE

I am living in the city six years through a new millenium. It has been three months since I was sacked and I find it utterly difficult to recover from the fuck up that got me where I am now. Mistakes that are years old still manage to crawl down my back and bite my luscious ass. I realize that the little fairy tale I've written myself in has turned into a very terrible version of my cheesiest telenovela where all the other characters were against me and I couldn't even tell whether I'm the pitiful protagonist or the ever-taray powerful antagonist... Or perhaps I am both to myself. I am my own best friend and worst enemy which works for me well since I simply could not survive through my days without drama. Drama. Drama. Drama. Isn't that just my daily load of sustenance?

I confirmed I am indeed no longer the anywhere-with-booze party girl because I could not afford a single glass of my favorite WengWeng anymore. Heck, I couldn't even afford a pack of my fucking respiratory poison. One night, I walked in the rain because I couldn't afford the luxury of a cab ride. I could have run... at least I wouldn't have been soaked silly to the last thread of my lingerie. But, looking at the people scrambling past me to get to shelter, I knew running was futile. Wet is wet so why sweat myself in avoiding it.

I stood still and relished the raindrops on my face. My face must've been a disaster with my mascara webbing out. When was the last time you stood still in the rain? People are always running and taking cover in fear of being down with colds and the flu after, without giving consideration to the relief and freedom of being washed clean by the rain. Not all people can be metaphoric.

Reality snaps its fingers and I am back to my existing struggle. My wallet is thinner and emptier than Nicole Richie. Oh yeah, it's the worst anorexia. The 15th is coming... How am I gonna pay the rent?

There are times in a woman's life when she is tired and lonely and bordering on death due to starvation and she asks herself why the hell doesn't she just come running home to Mommy and Daddy and be their little bratty princess. Then, they send her an SMS. And she remembers.

posted by Ketch Pablo @ 4:33 PM