Friday, July 07, 2006

Big Fish

And so it's the last joke she ever told. The girl tells so many jokes that she becomes the joke.

I've been told more than once: I won't pass to be serious if I exerted it all my energy and in turn, I would never have the chance to be in a serious relationship. Touche. I will not argue with that. No one will take me seriously because I never project myself as serious. At least I'm not some emotional vampire who has a pathological stick up his ass. Oh yeah baby, feed on my happines. Suck it all out until I'm immersed in the same tub of misery as you. Pretty erotic, isn't it?

I gladly welcome misery into my life. The more miserable, the better. It's the fuel that drives me. I feel I am more alive and happy when I am miserable. And that, my friends, is just one of my infinite contradictions. I tried to be content with being happy. But I found myself sitting on a porch in suburbia, grinning with a lost stare. Not my idea of contentment, by the way. And sometimes, I actually want to thank you for taking a knife and stabbing me right where it kills.

I've said it before and I could say it many times more. You and I are one in the same. We complain about our lives not rhyming yet when we come so close to finding that right tune, we veer into a path that would give us more challenges so as we have a reason to whine and to cuss the world. And that's what confirms to us that we are real. When it hurts, it's real.

That's so poetic. That's so pathetic.

8 Comments:

At 2:34 AM, Blogger abi said...

I beleive we would never really experience happiness if we weren't miserable at first.. I mean pano mo malalaman kung masaya ka kung hindi mo alam ang pakiramdam ng malungkot? Pano mo malalaman kung ano ang maliwanag, kung d ka pa nakakaranas ng dilim? hehehehe

Kaya ako, self confessed masochist.. pain makes me feel human..

 
At 2:45 AM, Blogger HanAgiRL said...

Re Sinagpore: Singapore was, well, okay. It's really small so like in 2 days, naikot mo na sya! It's like being in Makati. yah, it's that small. Shopping is pretty expensive though. What made it worthwhile was being with our Singaporean friends who happen to be celebrities there too. So it was pretty cool :) Oh the zoos we're great too. The night zoo esp. Enjoy!

 
At 12:49 PM, Anonymous ish said...

i agree...
i dont think i would be as strong asa i am now without those shitz that has come my way. im not saying im super woman but i guess im stronger.. go floi!!!:)

 
At 2:08 PM, Blogger Kai said...

Something tells me that you and I handle shitloads of life in a quite similar way. A masochistic way, might I add (;

 
At 10:26 AM, Anonymous Mardk said...

@floi
'di naman eh. di naman talaga e.


wag ka na magalit, mas maganda pag may antagonist sa blog mo.

 
At 8:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Floi,
Well we need to handle everything and do everything with poise, otherwise life is gonna suck big time. Enjoyed reading this entry. Somehow, I can relate to it.

Enjoy the rainy day,
Russ

 
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