Until I found my life again, I drown. So save me now.

How to tell you're over a guy 2

Second, perhaps the funniest joke God could ever throw... Seeing him with another. A joke's more effective with the element of surprise and God knows that. Do not, I repeat, do not lose yourself in it. You want to be the one laughing, not the one being laughed at.

If you ended up somewhere you didn't plan to be at the wee hours of a gimik night, exhale the stress and enjoy yourself. Then, a familiar face pops out from behind your friend. You've never seen that face in person, only in print and a quick flash eons ago but the face just registered in your head. Fight the urge to stare. If your sane self is defeated by the psychotic self, turn your eyes to the next face. Don't pretend to be shocked when you see whose it is.

When, finally, the friend they were with takes notice of you and shouts your name as if he didn't notice you had your eyes fixed on his face already, blink. Blink and breathe. You may find this hard to do as the shock value had your eyes hanging out of their sockets. Blink.

Absorb the situation. Witness everything from an outsider's PoV. Nobody else knows what's going on in your head and nobody would care to know so like the first situation, follow the smile-and-wave lesson.

When pleasantries have been exchanged, and you start to feel your cheeks trembling from grinning too brightly and rather mechanically, look at your friends for signs of sympathy. Thank God (despite His humor) the group left before the last screw keeping your head and heart intact fell off.

Ignore the fact that you lit a cig and vigorously sucked the whole stick in three drags. Ignore the fact that your Cosmopolitan has lost its festive taste. Ignore the fact that you walked in a zombie-like state to the most proximal parking lot and screamed all your contained astonishment. Five ten-second Regina George-of-Mean Girls diapraghmic screams. Until the bodyguard approaches you to ask if you were okay and, no, you can't scream at a parking lot all you want.

Sit back down with your friends, be fascinated at God's humor, and question yourself if the last ten minutes actually happened or was all in your head, influenced by your hyperactive vivid imagination and the love novels you've thrown yourself into.

Send the guy's friend a friendly Wow. That was funn. SMS, only to realize that you weren't using your phone and he might as well think it was the phone's sarcastic owner who sent it.

Give yourself a pat on the back. You did such a good job making him realize who truly owns his heart.

posted by Ketch Pablo @ 3:22 PM