Monday, July 16, 2007

Light up the sky

You're making choice to live like this,
And all of the noise,
I am Silence.

I said I will keep forgiving you every time and the only time WE would ever come to an end is when YOU give up. BIG MISTAKE. I always did manage to get myself in trouble with my big mouth and impulsive honesty. I've told you time and again... Complacency is the enemy of progress. We haven't moved on from this rut we got ourselves in because the moment things look up for us... the moment I don't complain... you shy back away to your old ways that always always make me feel like crap. Please please. If you can't love me the way you tell me you will, just let me go. You wouldn't do it, would you? I know I couldn't so what the hell... I truly do deserve this crappy crappy feeling of apathy.

We already know how it ends tonight,
You run in the dark through a firefight.
And I would explode just to save your life,
Yeah I would explode.

I'd do anything for you. I'd do anything for love. I already did and still will. No wonder friends think my celebrated intellect is of no use with my love life. You may have an IQ of 200 but Tanga ka, girl. Tanga ka. I always end up with the wrong guys. Or they always end up with the wrong me. What the world should do is gather all fucked up little girls like me and make us all live in a bubble. We shouldn't be allowed to roam freely and prey on nice young men. Heck, who am I kidding. You're no nice young man. If you were, I tell you... we both wouldn't have to grope in the dark for what to do next. I never was the first in a relationship to give up. Except for that one time but that was a different me. Ginagago na ko, I still hold on. So the mere fact that I'm exhausted beyond exhaustion because of you shows you are more fucking fucked up than I can ever be.

I can’t find a wall to pin this to,
They're all coming down since I've found you.
I just wanna be where you are tonight.

I longed to be beside you in everything you and I do. I was clingy, I knooowww. Those skanks had to pry you free from my cold dead fingers if they wanted to have you for themselves. Then one day, I woke up and realized that if you wanted to be with anyone else, I'm setting you free. Just don't come running back to me and claim yourself to be mine just because you have syphillis. Why did you have to throw everything we've shared and been through? C'mon mann... I can keep blaming you over and over and over and all you have to do is stay away from me and I'd stop bugging you. I can move on, you know. I really can. You just have to push me. Our memories are vanishing one by one in my head now... Just a little help from you and I'd be fine.

I run in the dark looking for some light,
And how will we know if we just don't try,
We won't ever know.

Well. We won't, I suppose. Tssch. I don't think you realized you were appointed to save my life, not totally push it off course. Congrats.

Friday, July 06, 2007


One of these days... I will write as if my entire existence depended on it again.

One of these days.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Make me wonder

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you and I

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore. ANYMORE.
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try
So this is goodbye [???]