Friday, March 24, 2006

There's no Us

How could a conversation that began with Am I only making you suffer end with I miss you? Only you and I could do that. Thus, the reason behind my preference of one-sided conversations.

I sat quietly on the passenger seat but unlike before, when I was silent because I was busy observing life passing by, my mind was on overdrive. I was drowning in my apathy. Your words should have comforted me but I wasn't there. Your hand alternated between the shift stick and my hand but I barely noticed. I wasn't there.

I've blocked everything out, including you, in trying to come up with ways to emerge from the rising water. I need to breathe. I am not on the verge of insanity... I'm already there.

I came to the conclusion that I need not be stressed. I could just drop everything and go on day by day detached. Then, I won't have to feel anger, sadness, frustration, happiness and fulfillment.

I would be everything everyone wants me to be. I would be everything you want me to be. You could do everything you want without having to worry about hurting me. I could continue being the happy girl who spreads happiness to all who suffers from Dr. Igor's Vitriol.

You being affected of everything in your past doesn't necessarily mean you're not into me. That's good to hear. But let's just stop talking about us. You're my more than proximity infatuation but less than ulterior subjugation guy. And I miss you already.

2 Comments:

At 3:00 AM, Anonymous jowein said...

in my version, it began with "i'm quitting. on everything. you/me. this." and ended with "you're the happiest experience i've ever had and i never thanked you enough for it."

and of course, "i'm missing you already" was thrown in there somewhere.

you'd be amazed at how similar the shit you're dealing with is with everybody else's.

 
At 8:38 PM, Blogger sweetskittles said...

I agree to that,
there's one in every blog...

 

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