Thursday, March 23, 2006

Nevermind

Oh, my melancholy heart... you are pure evil and you will be the cause of my earthly demise!

As I tried hard to read between the lines of your incessant pile of ramblings, I gave myself a little pat on the back. I thank God for I am not the most messed-up/confused/what-not poor slob out there. When I read that bit about me or at least what I think is about me for it could be anyone who has greeted you in advance, (and to show you how twisted this obsession can be) I smiled. Partly because I needed to believe that you really want to be with me, since the whole universe has conspired to bring us together after all. Partly because... nevermind.

I affirmed you as the person who makes me say what I truly think and feel but lately, I couldn't bring myself to let you know what goes on in my head. Partly because whatever comes out of my stupid mouth sounds... stupid, and is only bound to chase you away faster than I could get to the punctuation. Partly because everything I have already said appears to have zero impact on you and would have been better off said to space. Partly because... nevermind.

There were times this little voice in my head instructed me to tell you everything I have written here since these are things you deserve to know. Those were the times when I deliberately became careless and dropped hints of the existence of this blog. I've numerously absentmindedly placed the link where you can easily click on it but a louder voice tells me that this is not the right time and so I rather reluctantly took them out. Not now, as you yourself wrote.

It's better this way... having one-sided conversations. Monologues, if you will. One that I'll never know the other side of. Because much has been said and I am running out of strength to hold it up. So let's leave it at that.

2 Comments:

At 10:34 AM, Blogger strandedsoul said...

if you believe that the whole universe conspired to bring you together then maybe you really fell hard on this one. or then again...may be i'm wrong? ^_^

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger satisfy.me said...

Vertigo is not the fear of falling. It's the strong desire to fall from which, upon realization of such desire, we end up terrified and defend ourselves. Let's just say... I gave in to vertigo this time. Thank you, Mister Kundera.

 

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