Director's Cut
"I suddenly realized that the way to get over you isn't by hooking up with some random guy, or pretending like we didn't happen. You and I loved each other --- and then you broke my heart. I've been doing everything possible not to face that fact. But, I'm gonna kiss somebody someday, and when I do... it will be for me. Goodbye..."--- Blair to Chuck on Gossip Girl, Season 3 Episode 19 "Dr. Estrangeloved"
I was about to switch channels because the drama in Gossip Girl was starting to bug when this scene came on. Last night, someone told me the best way to make a guy feel bad about your break-up is to show him that you've moved on to another guy's arms. I say no. This is the first time that I want to heal my heart by myself. No rebounds, no new man for show.
My phone not prompting a new SMS used to drive me crazy for the first few weeks, especially when I knew that the prepaid credits I've given you was already being used for a hoebag. So I filled my days with exchanging SMS with a new dude, just to keep me from the habit of updating you with random details of my day. He didn't want to be a mere rebound, though, and I concurred that he was too nice a guy to be reduced to that. I kept my heart at bay but ended up only getting myself in a bigger mess because I simply could not keep from liking the guy and it now appears that I have sabotaged all possibilities of starting anew with him.
Oh well. Life, ya?
I finally got around to clearing up my phone of our photos. It was painful - seeing all our memories in full color. I wept a bit. I couldn't help but smile afterwards, though. Little by little, I'm ridding myself of you. I'm moving on in a healthy constructive way and I can't help but be proud of myself. When that day comes that I shall have my first kiss with a new man, I know I'd be ready and it would be magical.
At kung hindi na babalik
Sana sa pag-gising ay wala na ang nadaramang sakit
At kung hindi na babalik
Pilit sasabihin na hindi ako nagkamali
posted by Ketch Pablo @ 1:19 PM
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