Thursday, May 17, 2007

Because I'd still say yes

I wish I could've have had you before all those girls screwed you up so badly. Just my luck. For the first time in my life, I'm fighting urges to give up and run away and... well, actually commit to a commitment. But you're done immersing yourself into relationships 'cause you always did choose skanks for girlfriends in your past. Or maybe not. I really wouldn't know coz your past is a dark untouchable place you have locked up in a chest under your bed. And you wonder about the monster who haunts your sunshiny moments with me. The chest and the monster is one and the same... just so you know. I've been screwed over myself. A gazinfjhrjbfllion times. Your past doesn't justify how you are in your present relationship. And sometimes, I'm sorry just doesn't cut it.

Namaaan. Will my life ever begin to rhyme? I don't even want to start questioning God for eternally proving to me that my choices are jack shit and that they would only take me exactly the other side of where I want to be. I just want to be happy. I just want to be contented. I took the chance with you and for a moment, I was under the impression that there is nothing more I would need and want. That moment faded too soon. And all I'm left with is this heartache and words.

This has got to be the most difficult fight I ever had to put up with. I want you. You are mine for the simple reason that I am yours. And if I had to give you up to the ghosts of your past, my sanity wouldn't be able to forgive me. That's just wrong. and braindead stupid. If I had to be a fucking shrink just to figure out what's wrong with you and to help you fix yourself, then so be I. I'm not giving up till you mend. But you will only mend if you allow yourself. And there won't be me in we until you do because we will only be fixed when none of us is broken. Which should have been the case when we started being we precisely six months ago.

If we're gonna make this count, we gotta stop counting backwards. You gotta be fair. Coz you know as well as I do, that I choose to be yours. Yours to appreciate, not to take for granted. And... well, you will always have me at hello.


At 7:56 PM, Anonymous sheila said...

floi, i miss you. what's wrong? =( i'm here for you sisterette...


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